In recent discussion on this blog, it has come to light that I have an extensive knowledge of 90’s Pro Wrestling and enjoy an artistic kung fu movie or two. Because of this knowledge, it has been insinuated that I am, in fact, a “dork” and a resident of “dorkdom.” I dismiss those charges based on the current facts because wrestling is (or was) basically mainstream and the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon type movies are more intellectual than dork.
I do not dismiss the fact that I am, indeed, a dork. But my dork status comes from a whole host of different reasons. To vouch for my residence in dorkdom, I give you my guilty pleasures:
Will Smith: I enjoy both his music and his movies, even the dreadful ones. I like his annoying, useless new song, Switch. I even, dare I say it, liked Will2K from the panned album Willinium. But my worst offense of all would have to be actually liking Wild, Wild West and thinking it is a good movie.
Rap Music: I know rap music is popular know, even (especially) among the white suburban kids, but I, being a white father of two with absolutely no musical talent at all, enjoy rapping along with my favorite song (my song choices have changed a good bit from my college years, but I still listen to a lot of the same genres). I can only hope that no secret government video exists of me “rapping.” If so the only redeemingly value could be to use at Gitmo for “encouraging” the terrorists to talk.
Pokemon: I don’t actively seek to watch the cartoon, but if it’s own on Saturday morning and my wife has gone to get groceries (or is in the other room), I don’t change the channel. Yes, I know Pokemon is the devil but I find the adventures of Ash Ketchum to be entertaining. I’m just waiting on my excommunication letter.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: TMNT was my favorite childhood obsession. I had all the toys, the clothes, the movies and the song – “Go ninja, Go ninja, Go!” Again, I am not saing I actively seek to watch the latest cartoon reincarnation, I’m just saying I flip through the channel very slowly. And no I don’t know anything about a CGI Turtle movie or a live action Transformers movie. Why do you ask?
Left Behind books: Oh, this is going to get me banned from any intellectual Christian circles I may have had a shot at joining. I actually enjoyed the first few books in the Left Behind series. I thought they were halfway well written. I didn’t equate them with Lord of the Rings or anything, but I didn’t mind reading them. I actually bought all of them, up until the most recent prequel. The last several in the book have been wretched and excruciatingly drawn out. What took a chapter in book 2, takes 10 chapters in book 7. It has clearly become a money ploy with so many spin-offs Hollywood executives would be impressed. But alas, I enjoyed reading several of the books.
Food Network: This one is all my wife’s fault. When we actually had cable she was constantly watching the Food Network. At first I hated the stupid shows, but then came the Iron Chef. Then, I started to enjoy several other shows, including 30 Minute Meals with the always cute and perky Racheal Ray. Sometimes, I would secretly rather watch the Food Network instead of Sportscenter for the fifth time. When she would change the channel, I would complain, but secretly I was glad.
So now you know that WWF and House of the Flying Dangers was only scrapping the surface of my dorkiness. Trust me there are even more guilty, dorky things in which I take pleasure, but a man can only bare his soul so much in one post.